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How do I know I’m with “the one”?

by | Dec 9, 2021 | Insight, Relationships | 0 comments

How do I know I’m with “the one”?

Tough question.

Some would say “listen to your heart”.

But if you and your heart aren’t on speaking terms, that’s not a strategy you can rely on. If this is you, you’re much more likely to rely on your head. In which case you’ll likely have a checklist you’re working towards, ticking off and comparing, oh yeah, they’ve got 8/10 most days, that’s pretty good.

And what if your head and/or heart just aren’t giving you a clear or consistent response?

This often happens because there are ups and downs in relationships, and it’s hard to know whether you want to go the distance with your current partner. One day you feel very passionate towards them, and then the next day you might fight or resent each other and suddenly you feel very differently. This hot and cold rollercoaster is actually typical in most relationships, but it doesn’t have to be!

What if things are going well, surely that’s a clear indication? Perhaps you’re engaged, or thinking about it, or even just thinking about some further symbolic commitment. This is when it gets worse. This is where the uncertainty really kicks in… The dreaded cold feet!

This is totally normal. In fact, in the modern age, it’s even more normal, for many reasons it’s getting harder to commit! We know we love them now, but will we always love them? And what if they change, or I change, or we grow apart? A lifetime is a long time to commit to be together!!

So how do I know if they’re right for me?

There is a way to know that combines both head and heart, unfortunately it’s not quite as straightforward as something we can cover in a blog post like this. But we do cover it in our relationship programs, including Wholehearted Relationships. So secure your place now!

About the author

Andrew Ramsden

Founder Peak State and host of Alpha Geek Podcast

Andrew Ramsden is a speaker, trainer, coach and podcast host specialising in digital and technical leadership.

Andrew founded Peak State to help organisations keep up with the ever-changing world around us.

He has a particular passion for leadership development, especially helping technical professionals level-up and unleash the great leader within.